Legend of Tarzan: Best. Review. Ever. The Final Word.

Emily of Emily Writes NZ has posted the DEFINITIVE Legend of Tarzan review.  Well, maybe not defnitive, but let’s call it, at a minimum, the most ENTERTAINING Legend of Tarzan Review ever.  I like to talk about how Edgar Rice Burroughs told stories that were sort of hardwired into our psyche,  well, Emily has the same skill as a writer — she gives us a terrific deluge of unself-conscious wine truth.  I want to be clear I love this, I”m not mocking it.  I’m an instant fan of Emily.

And if you don’t know what “The V” is . . . . well…Skarsgard fans all know what it is. Try googling it if you’re in the dark. But read the review first.

I saw Tarzan and this is my review after some wines

So I had wine and I am very tired and so I am a bit tipsy but I saw the Tarzan movie so I thought I’d give my honest review.
Excuse typos because you know, wines.
Ok so I don’t know what the plot is or who is in it other than Alexander Skarsgard and Alexander Skarsgard’s magnificent holy abs. I don’t know what the dialogue or acting is like or whatever.

But like 1/3 of the way in Alexander Skarsgard is going to fight a gorilla for some reason and he takes off his shirt and OMG LIKE I ACTUALLY GROANED LOUDLY.

He does not put his shirt back on for the whole movie.

And like The V. sweet mother Mary the V I am telling you. The v is worth $15. The V is worth so much

I wanted to see the movie again straight afterward.

Did I say that he doesn’t put his shirt back on?

This is why I can’t tell you what the movie is about. Samuel l Jackson at one point is talking about something really important and it’s just white noise because Alexander Skarsgard has the best body that ever existed.

I am basically exhausted from being in a constant state of arousal for the rest of the 2/3 of the film.

Read the rest, it’s worth it.